However, he started his stupid act again. He started to have an affair with one of our employee. I couldn’t believe it! How could he do that to me again? How could he do that! I was so angry and I could not forgive him.

He was so stupid doing that. He was so…….I hate him and I hate him! I hurt me a lot. I felt like betrayed! I always be there with him when he was in his difficult times and he betrayed me when he started to have a small amount of money? I was so angry and so angry. He said sorry and he promise nit to do that again. It was hurting me a lot and I felt like living in hell for months.

I couldn’t believe that I have to accept that I live with such a bad man. I still can’t believe that I have to live with such a husband for the rest of my life. Can I hold it? Can I hold this marriage? Will he do that to ma again? Do I have to accept his stupid behavior? Did he really change? I didn’t know and I still don’t know.

Today I can see that he is back to me. I can see the real him. I can see that he is a great father and a warm husband. But will he stay wonderful like this forever? Will he always love me like this? Will he still love us like this? I love him so much and I never think of another man but him. He is the love of my life and I chose him to be my only love and my only husband.

All I can do is pray to God. Please help us, please protect us, please take care of us and keep our love alive. Please make my husband as a faithful man. Please take care of our marriage and take care of our family. Please don’t let him betrayed me again and don’t let him hurt me again. Please help us God, please.

We were getting closer and closer but we still had some financial problems. It was because he could not stand to live savvy, he wanted to keep his hobbies like buying expensive books and has fun. We broke up for the second time and this time was worse. It was worse because he left his job and left out town.

I was pregnant and things were so difficult for me to be alone. I couldn’t not hold it because I was getting weaker and weaker. My four years old son was also so sad because he missed his father everyday. It made him ill for weeks and I decided to leave my job and went home to our parent’s home.

I had a great and wonderful career but my husband broke it with his stupid act. He made us lost everything we had all these years from our clothes to our other properties. We had no home but we had many properties and he just made those properties disappear in a few second.

I am so sad now. I feel so sad and so hopeless.  I just want my husband to love me the way I am.  I just want him to love me just like when we first fall in love.  Can that happen to me?  He even doesn’t remember our anniversary.  He never remembers my birthday.   He doesn’t care about me at all. Perhaps he loves me no more.

What should I do to make him change?  What should I do to make him care about me and love me?  What can I do, God?  I think I deserve to be loved.  Then why this is happening to me? Am I not deserved to get the happiness in my marriage? I am a woman and I want to be loved. I don’t know.  I just don’t know what to do with my life and my marriage.  I never thought that I will be betrayed like this.  I never thought that he will change like this.  Now I just don’t know what to do.

I start to feel so cold now.  Every time I have some problems with my husband especially about this, the cold is attacking me.  I feel frozen inside and it is entering my body and my soul.  I have to control my self about this.  I have to fight this stress but I don’t know what to do.

I am so weak and so weak.  I need my husband to strengthen me.  But when he is no longer with me, when his heart is no longer pure for me, when he is no longer care about me, I think I am going to die. I have nothing and I have nothing.
I have nothing to proud of in front of families and friends, I have nothing to hold, I have nothing to love and I have nothing.

His parent divorced. Will that happen to me too?  Will that happen to my marriage?  No, please don’t………please, I never want that. Please God, don’t let that happen to me and my marriage.  I love my husband and I hope he love me too.  I hope he can love me just like when we first met and fall in love.

Honey, I love you so much and I think I can’t get through this life without you. If you ever leave me and hurt me again, I think I am going to die.

Here I am alone again with my computer. I am tired but I cannot sleep. I need a friend to talk to but my husband has no time for me. He is always busy with his job. I don’t know whether he really busy or that is just his way to run.

Well, I should throw away this kind of negative thinking. I should praise him as my husband and as a father who work for his family. Yes, he is a good and hard working man. It is just sometimes he makes mistakes. Unfortunately I cannot accept such a mistakes which is related to faith and trust for marriage. No way!!!!

There is no way that he could do that to me because if he does that to me again I won’t be there again for him. This is enough and more than enough. I still wonder why this is hurting me a lot. I think I better watch TV now bye.